Chest Cold Sweeping the Northeast

The feverless respiratory cold which is going around the Northeast US and rapidly spreading through schools and travel areas is actually a very, very mild form of the new flu. This “cold” has arisen in response to the overwhelming creative desire of the you, the people. Your mass consciousness has created your own healthy, no-need-to-be-tested, vaccine for the flu. This cold will make future cases of the flu you all fear even more mild than it has already become.